Traditional, Arr. Mike Oldfield
  Vocals: Viv stanshall
  The Hallway. From The Outside An Ordinary House. A Great House, True. 483 Rooms, Each One With Its Own Marble Wash Bassin And Douche. Bide As It's Known. But Inside ... And The Positions Are Reversed. A Human Failing, Some Say A Disease, But A Disease That Sir Francis Dashwood Knew And Used Well. Upstairs, Inside And A Revelation, It's A Discotheque. No, No, Err ... There Are Paintings ... Real ... And Look Here! A Rare 17th Century Masterpiece. And If I Can Scrape A Little Of It Of, Beneath I Can Find Hidden ... A 14th Century Underpiece. Made Entirely Of Tiny Pieces Of Eggshell. This Lurid Work Has Caused Controvesary In The World Of Embroidery And Anthropology. No, I'll Say It Again; Anthropolopology. No Quite Possibly Making Anthropole. No, I Mean An Epilog ... It Has Enthralled Distinguished Professors And In Laymans Language, It's Blinking Well Buffling, But To Be More Obtusely; Buggered If I Know. Yes, Buggered IF I Know. And That's All We've Been So Far. From Experts In 14th Century Painting Renaissance Greengrocers, And Recently Revived Members Of The Public. Buggered If I Know. Vivian Stanshall, About 3 O'clock In The Morning, Oxfordshire 1973. Goodnight!