It was the night before Christmas,
  And all through the house,
  Everybody was stoned,
  Even the mouse.
  
  Man from the whore house,
  And me from the jail,
  I just settled down
  to get a piece of her tail.
  
  When all of the sudden,
  I heard such a clatter,
  I tripped on my dick
  A nd busted my bladder.
  
  I went downstairs
  and what did I see?
  A fat little red faget, hanging from the tree.
  He stuffed the stockings
  with reefers and beer,
  And a big fat hairy dick
  for that family queer.
  
  That's the end of my story,
  Funny wasn't it? You see.