I'm well aware there's a bit of a problem
  
  Where is this thing that I call heaven?
  What is it doing here on earth?
  Who is this holding my umbrella?
  Who is this looking up your skirt?
  
  You always wear it with a sense of style
  I like to wear it with a smirk
  You make me wait for just a little while
  I open up my mouth and yell
  
  I'm home, you're home, I'm all alone
  Why can't I call you on the phone?
  I really don't know
  I'm home, you're home, we’re all alone
  Why can't I call you on the phone?
  
  You always wear it with a sense of style
  I like to wear it with a skirt
  I'll be ok in just a little while
  And I open my big mouth and yell
  
  Did you laugh? Did you cry?
  Did you say my name with a bit of a sigh?
  I really don't know
  Did you laugh? Did you cry?
  Did you say my name with a bit of a sigh?
  
  Take off, to the great white north
  Take off, it's a beauty way to go
  Take off, to the great white north
  Take off, it's a beauty way to go
  (Bob & Doug loon calls)
  
  Where is this thing that I call heaven?
  Did you laugh at that?
  
  What is it doing here on earth?
  Did you cry?
  Who is this holding my umbrella?
  Did you say my name with a sigh?
  Who is this looking up your skirt?