He was not as tall and rather fat
    He had a labrador and a lumping cat
    Born in a country with a broken heart
    He had enough money and a credit card
    Told bedtime stories to his Teddybear
    Gave him lots of hugs and a dress to wear
    He had a small apartment (what a lovely sight)
    He watched MTV all night
    
    Where the hell was friendship
    He must have turned it off
    And most of all he wondered what is love
    What the hell is love
    
    He enjoyed the silence more and more
    As he heard the door slam right next door
    He had a fancy Parker and a diary
    In which he wrote some poetry
    And as he went to bed at night
    The cat's eyes gave him ample light
    To make him lie awake and see
    The content of his misery
    
    Where the hell was friendship
    He must have turned it off
    And most of all he wondered what is love
    What the hell is love
    
    Where the hell was friendship
    He must have turned it off
    And most of all he wondered what is love
    What the hell is love